Saying Farewell

"I've seen fire and I've seen rain,

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end,

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,

But I always thought that I'd see you again."

-James Taylor "Fire and Rain."

 

For many of us, we had the opportunity to say our goodbyes to Duane at a viewing at Cropo Funeral on Saturday, April 4th, 2009, just before he was cremated. A large contingent of CAA drivers, possibly most of them in the city, was on hand to pay their respects as well. I like to think that Duane would have been pleased by this, as it meant that for about an hour or so in Winnipeg, you probably couldn't get a CAA driver at all. Just a little piece of anarchy that he would have appreciated.

 

Afterwards I was given his ashes, and just over a year later, a group of his friends drove out toward BC to spread them out, as per his last request to me, at Long Beach, near Tofino. There was myself, Tonni, Sam & Morgan in one car, and Karl, Summer, Robyn & Cheyenne in another. We were joined in Tofino by Duane's daughter Natasha, and two of her close friends Herbie & Aliyah.

 

We met up at a local campground on Sunday July 25th, 2010 after breakfast, and, after studying local maps, decided on a spot where the top of Long Beach meets Schooner Cove. We drove out there and parked, where Natasha and I transferred Duane's ashes from the funeral home container into a proper urn for the ceremony. We then set off for the beach, which turned out to be about a mile away along a narrow boardwalk through tall vast cedars that made me feel like a hobbit travelling through Fangorn Forest. I hadn't even reached the beach, and already I could tell why Duane had wanted to have his ashes scattered in the area.

 

We reached the beach, and spent awhile swimming and relaxing. Karl and I explored the area and selected a suitable area for our ceremony, perhaps a bit more into Schooner Cove than on Long Beach, just a little to the right of a small island there, between that island and the shore. It was a beautiful spot; a warm and sunny day. My only regret being that we were unable to pinpoint where Duane has spread Joanne's ashes only two years before in 2008 -- but at least we were in the right area.

 

I had meant to bring a cup of coffee to pour into the ocean with his ashes, but Herbie had offered to brew a pot on the beach, which was kind of him, and once that was done, we all walked out into the ocean. Natasha decided that she would carry his ashes out into the water, and then give them to me so that I would pour them into the sea. Naturally this is something I had wanted very urgently to do, but I had not asked her for this honour, and it meant a lot to me that she came to this decision herself, and I was grateful she allowed me to do this for Duane.

 

So we gathered in the water a distance from the shore, not quite up to our knees, arranged ourselves in a semi-circle facing the shore, and Natasha gave me the urn. I said a few words, nothing eloquent or memorable, and Karl added his thoughts, and then we began. His ashes spilled out, and because I kept the urn low, the wind didn't pick them up. Instead they swirled down through the water and about our feet as they settled on the sand below. As I poured his ashes, Natasha joined in with the coffee -- hot, strong and black, just the way he liked it -- and Herbie poured in a beer as well, which was a nice touch. When the urn was empty I submersed it and washed it out thoroughly. We stayed in silence there for a minute and then made our way in to shore: I returned with the funeral home's container and washed it out as well (a little later, on August 13th, Karl, Robyn & I consigned this to the flames of a bonfire back home in Winnipeg).

 

With that, it was over. At first we sat on the beach in little clusters, reflecting, but soon enough we regrouped, had a few Red Stripes, and reminisced. It was a beautiful spot and a beautiful day, and we had done what Duane had asked.

 

It's hard to comprehend that it has been almost 4 years now since Duane passed away. I miss him still, and continue to think of him daily. Duane didn't believe in an afterlife, and neither do I , but in spite of that, I hope that we were wrong, and that I will get to see him again and we can catch up over a cup of coffee.

 

Judas