On we go

 Well yes life is long I realized this as Duane's passing he was only 46yo yet looking back how young we were . Finding our old photos , writings ,memories etc. It has been long a long journey already . Dale you just had to write about ciggerettes !

    The fall Duane and I began going out it just slowly happened .I'd like to say I was now more mature however fact is I just had lost more of my innocence and was really just hangin around with older people .Just because they were older certainly did not make them any more mature ;-)

 My main friend at the time David and his friends were into the cafe and doing drug scene so in some circles yes people appeared to be very mature bohimein cool with it crowds . Acid was Davids main drug of choice and with it being a wicked autumn we chose not to do much more then get high and go for the odd coffee at Roogies or Rogies whatever it was . Duane began hanging out with us and it would not dawn on me for yrs after our seperation that he had actually persuded me . Wow I feel kind of honoured now that he liked me that much ;-)

He would come over and hang out with David and I and never do acid he hated it in fact he claimed to have known someone or maybe he'd had a bad time of it . He in fact wanted to be sure I did not have a bad time . Later I began to spend more and more time with Duane , David got tired of us making out on his couch also lol . You have to remember Duane and I were teens and yes the passion was hot hot ! Gradually I had to make a choice , acid or Duane ;-) We all know the choice I made . My begiining with Duane and his world was awesome . We'd go off to these little shops and buy neat teas and cheeses . Walking always, we rarely took the bus . We lived so close to each other I was in a group home down the backlane from his sisters house in which he lived . I'd pretty much be there very night and although just a sprint down the backlane he always came out and watched me reach the grouphome . He taught me guitar and was a great teacher by the way , not all muscians are good teachers .

 We'd spend hrs just lying in his room listening to music , burning candles , incense and yes smoking ciggerettes . We however did not do drugs together not even pot really . That always was brought on by others and peers which usually was the case with either of us as a personal choice we both did not wish to use any type of mood altering substance .

 I remember when I met Duane's friend Judas . I loved him . He was not mean . Basically I base people on thier level of meaness and dwelling on self , sorry that is just who I am most survivors do not like bullies ;-) Dale was totally a giving person , you could tell he was a caregiver right away . Most of all he loved books and most of all he loved haiku ! I loved haiku too and he would often send me haiku in the mail . I think as Duane and I matured and came away from negative aspects in our lives we tended to draw the more poitive people into our lives as well . This is about the same time Richard and perhaps Jon came into our lives too . Not quite sure . Again life seemed to be quite pleasant based on good cheese , bread , books and of course the manly aspect had to be added ... the pipe ;-) I absolutely love pipe tabacco .. the scent .It is the real thing too not harshly chemicaled up etc. It reminds me of the traditional tabacco I use for smudging etc.

 These were really good times . Duane and I eventually were going to go on to highschool and I was leaving the group home to live with my mother . We'd spent our spring out and about record shopping , visiting parks etc. be it night or day we just loved living .

   Now in the spring of 1980 we took a trip with our school out to Clear Lake for our annual summer camp . This would be our last yr. with this group . Duane and I spent all our time together as always . Guitars , nature walks and yes the conception of Natasha Rose ;-)

Duane loved nature he loved this one spot at clear lake . Must have been an abandoned farmsite . A stand of oaks , tall grass the hot summer air of a summer evening but with a wonderful breeze blowing the back of your neck , lifting your hair just enough to cool you off .

   I truely did believe Duane and I would be together forever . I did feel we'd raise a family and probably be married as at that age that is what seemed to be the norm ;-)

 I've no idea how Duane reacted to knowing I was pregnant , I think he just sort of went along with it . We were after all still just 17 yrs. old .

    So began another journey in life , one with child ;-) a gift ,our beautiful blessing ......